You are currently browsing the monthly archive for November 2010.

Calm seas here on the mothership.  (Mixed metaphors, schmixed metaphors.)  Good report cards and good behaviors all around for the most part.  Nikki started having homework this week, and she has been somewhat resistant to it but I am now an expert at handing her passive-aggressive whiny spells.

After my unofficial official word on reunification, I received more official word the return home still MIGHT just happen before winter break starts.  I guess that’s what happens when everyone wants to cover their butts, though I do appreciate the warning.  I really can’t imagine the judge choosing to send them home with just a week left of school though.

So I’ve got a date picked out for the kids’ “going away” party, but I am at a loss for what activities to plan.  Each kid is going to choose 4 or so friends to invite, and I’m picturing the party as having some sort of ‘friend’ theme without being too sad or weepy.

For the girls, it should be easy enough to have a craft or two to take home (maybe a picture frame with a photo of the group in it?) and then some snacks.  But for the boys?  We don’t have a Wii or other group type video game system and I’m afraid it will be too cold to plan on an outside activity.  And, well, that’s really all I see them ever do.  The only other thing I can think of is “make your own pizza” but that doesn’t really take much time.

Fellow foster parents, ideas?


Have some unofficially official word that the return home will not be until school ends for winter break.


I can definitely handle that, now that I finally know.  If it stretched out that long without having that end in sight, well, that would be a different story.  But this recent startling development I mentioned earlier took away any possibility of an earlier time frame, and now I can feel comfortable actually planning the future!

Like, when Husband and I can get away to a bed and breakfast (that would be 3 days after they return home – I’m already reserving a room now…but shouldn’t I know better than to do that?  See my feelings below.)

and when/how we will consider new placements after the reunification (we’ll stay open until January 31st and we’re at the least changing our age range to 3 – 7.)

But given all the people I’ve been telling for months that it will be soon, I hope by Thanksgiving, etc etc., I’m feeling sort of sheepish about it too.

Like, do other people think I’m a dope for being so hopeful?  And I’m even going all the way back to the spring when I was telling people they would return home in the summer.  Did they think I was a sucker after the Great Summer Setback of ’10?

By people, I mostly mean those people in my everyday life who know I’m a foster parent and take a general interest in my family’s life.  So, other parents from school, Husband’s colleagues, family members, neighbors, and the like.

And I know I’m an eternal optimist.  I have faith in humanity, and certainly, Mark and Nikki’s parents have given 99% good signs that I should keep my faith in them.  It’s just those sneaky curveballs they throw my way.

I’m not going to change, even if I could choose to.  I hate cynicism.  But I wonder if I should even worry about how other people view me.  Do I give the impression that foster parents are naive?  Or that they are manipulated by the system?

Hopefully, people realize it’s just me.  I’m unabashedly hopeful for happy endings.

We found out some bad news yesterday about the kids’ biofamily.  Completely shocking, unexpected, I-don’t-even-want-t0-believe-it type news.  It really sucks.  The kids don’t know yet, but they will find out soon, and I expect there to be lots more talking and explaining to go on afterwards.  And probably some regression.  I don’t think it’s possible for Mark to pee in his bed anymore than he already does, but something else will happen I bet.

The funny thing is, this news actually probably won’t effect their reunification – it might be a few weeks delayed, but they’ll still be home soon, hopefully by Christmas now.  But it will definitely effect their long term future.

There is still hope though.  This situation could still end positively in time, and I hope it does.  I really hope the ‘team’ members involved in the kids’ case actually support the family and not just pressure them to do what’s easiest.   That’s what I’ll be doing!

The big four kids are actually in this picture, sitting under the table which holds their pumpkins.  I’m not really a photo-taking genius.  Or even average.


I have to make a lifebook THIS MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the entire last year!!!!!!!!!

This is not good.  I should probably add some more exclamation points.