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Again, am I the only one who takes this seriously??

Last night, on the phone, their mom casually mentioned “they are trying to TPR us.”

I feigned ignorance, just to see what else she would say, but that was about it.  Just laughing off how they’ll have to move the court date because Dad can’t make it to the first one.

This is crazy.  Maybe that was just how she handles stress.  Maybe she didn’t want me to think she was capable of getting angry.  IT’S OKAY TO GET ANGRY WHEN YOUR CHILDREN ARE ON THE LINE.

 

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New worker, call her Mel, dropped off the kids last week after a visit, and stayed to chat – so technically, that’s her home visit.  (Still better than when the worker stays for the full hour just because she’s required to.  I don’t handle awkward silences well.)

And she just casually threw out that she’ll be filing for TPR next month.

I mean, I know this is her job, and she did just take over this case, but this is a BIG DEAL.  Please treat it as such.

She said the parents will almost definitely appeal, so that is probably why she didn’t act that concerned – this is not going to be done any time soon.

And meanwhile, I’m here with these innocent kiddos.  The kids who ask when they get to go back to their family, who cry for their mom, and who save things to take “home”.

I’m wondering if justice can be found in all this mess.

At the last court hearing, we got a new caseworker.  We knew ahead of time she was leaving for another job. Not too surprising, burnout, etc etc.

But then I found out three other members of the team also changed.  I found out from Aaron and Allie’s parents, after the hearing.  Pretty much everyone but the judge is new.  I’m still trying to find out if something weird happened, or if it is just a weird fluke.  And why didn’t anyone TELL US.

Not that I had anything positive to say about the CASA.  He never contacted me in the 10 months we had the kids.  And I didn’t have any interaction with the DJO, so no comments there.

In the meanwhile, I can’t help but wonder how that might change the direction of this case.  The old caseworker certainly didn’t have much hope in the parents.  I have no read yet on this new worker, but I think what I need to do is figure out my own feelings first.

In the beginning, I just went on what old caseworker said.  She said the case was heading to TPR eventually, so I believed her.  After all, there had been 2+ years of history that I had not been party to.

But now, almost a year into it for us, federal guidelines be darned, I just don’t think it makes any sense to tear this family apart.  The parents need work, and it’s taken a RIDICULOUSLY long time for them to get it somewhat going, but in that time, they’ve maintained their bond with their kids.  Aaron and Allie long for their parents and their home.

So we’ll see.  The court is still working on reunifying one of the siblings.  That’s the only official line so far, and so it doesn’t even make sense to conjecture whether it will work, and whether Aaron and Allie will be included in any reunification.  (Although I’m giving better than even odds they’ll still be with us next Christmas.  I may not know where they’ll end up, but I do know it will take a bureaucra-ternity to implement.)

I will continue to hope for what’s best.