So, I talked to Mark’s teacher.  The gist of Mark’s behavior problem at school is a self-soothing noise he makes.  It’s not constant by any means, and it doesn’t really bother us at home (it does get to me occasionally) but it is definitely something that is distracting the other kids.  So he needs to learn how to refocus it.

Mark’s teacher seemed to be think it was something Mark could control.  I suspected otherwise and his teacher is inexperienced, but I wasn’t comfortable just arguing with him.  (I’m always wary of being the mom who thinks her kid is special and doesn’t need to follow the rules.)  He wanted to set up a behavior plan with me right then on the phone, so I agreed to a 3 strikes sort of plan, but then got right back on the phone with the school’s counselor.

She backed me up that it is a self-soothing measure he can learn to control but in much slower, smaller steps.  She spoke with the teacher and he is going to switch tactics with us, but I hope I didn’t create an awkward situation.  I told him I didn’t want him to feel like I was over-riding him, but rather that I was just looking for ideas.  I don’t know if he believed me, but he acted like it at least.