but I can’t ask Mark about it!

All day yesterday, I was noticing how he smelled.  Not awful, and I certainly hadn’t noticed it the first night, but he had been running around the house and playing, so he’d gotten sweaty.  I mentioned a few times to him during the day that he would need a bath.

After dinner, I asked him if he took baths or showers.  He told me neither.  I (still not getting it) laughed and told him it was time for a bath then and to go upstairs.  He refused, looked really scared, and ran and hid in a closet.  He told me he had ‘accidents’ in the bath, and I (still not getting it) told him not to worry about it, I deal with poop all the time, and he won’t be in trouble.  He still wouldn’t come out.  Long story short, he told me through a crack in the door that something bad happened to him in a bathtub.  I didn’t push it any more after that, and I feel really stupid for not picking up on his feelings/trauma.  We compromised (very gently) on him wiping down with a soapy washcloth in the bathroom.  He managed to do that fine, and seemed much calmer afterwards.

Okay, so now I know he REALLY needs a therapist.  I’m dying to reach out and help him, but I know I’m not a professional and it’s not my role.  I have absolutely NO CLUE what his bathroom trauma could be; obviously, my mind runs the gamut from rape to having to clean the shower curtain.

More than that, I just feel so SAD.  He does so well through the day, and knowing that there’s some part of him though that is that scarred makes me want to cry.

So I will be calling Marge right away on Monday.  The bath thing, plus a few other medical issues, lead me to suspect I’m going to be feeling a lot more sadness in the future.