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but I can’t ask Mark about it!
All day yesterday, I was noticing how he smelled. Not awful, and I certainly hadn’t noticed it the first night, but he had been running around the house and playing, so he’d gotten sweaty. I mentioned a few times to him during the day that he would need a bath.
After dinner, I asked him if he took baths or showers. He told me neither. I (still not getting it) laughed and told him it was time for a bath then and to go upstairs. He refused, looked really scared, and ran and hid in a closet. He told me he had ‘accidents’ in the bath, and I (still not getting it) told him not to worry about it, I deal with poop all the time, and he won’t be in trouble. He still wouldn’t come out. Long story short, he told me through a crack in the door that something bad happened to him in a bathtub. I didn’t push it any more after that, and I feel really stupid for not picking up on his feelings/trauma. We compromised (very gently) on him wiping down with a soapy washcloth in the bathroom. He managed to do that fine, and seemed much calmer afterwards.
Okay, so now I know he REALLY needs a therapist. I’m dying to reach out and help him, but I know I’m not a professional and it’s not my role. I have absolutely NO CLUE what his bathroom trauma could be; obviously, my mind runs the gamut from rape to having to clean the shower curtain.
More than that, I just feel so SAD. He does so well through the day, and knowing that there’s some part of him though that is that scarred makes me want to cry.
So I will be calling Marge right away on Monday. The bath thing, plus a few other medical issues, lead me to suspect I’m going to be feeling a lot more sadness in the future.
